That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
