you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
We have so much sex to catch up on
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
