Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
