That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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