Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
