TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I wear drunk well.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
