I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
