East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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