Nicole vs. Life
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
