We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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