Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
