walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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