I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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