East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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