im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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