My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
