I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
