1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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