You made me cry and you don't even care
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
