Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
