Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
