just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Is it penis luge time yet?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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