dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
