We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
