Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
