i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
