I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
