I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
