I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we made out on top of his cat.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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