The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
