omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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