I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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