I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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