I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
