They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
True college students do jello shots in the library
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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