Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I don't deserve a penis
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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