If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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