He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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