he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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