Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
