i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize