Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
