if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
