I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
