You're so nebulous sometimes
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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