Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
