im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You are a genius and a whore.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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