Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Redeem this text for a blowjob
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
MIDGETS
????
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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