Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
