We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Do vagina's smell?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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