Will you blow on my dice?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
