You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
