There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
