Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
