bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
